Divine Sorrow

Divine Sorrow from The Work Of The People on Vimeo.

Love Your Enemies?

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. So it goes. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:17-21

I have intentionally remained silent on the news of Osama bin Laden's death. I think regardless of one's religion we each of us have a great sense of and desire for justice. This man's choices and influence led not only to the deaths of the victems of 9/11 but also to innumerable child suicde-bombers and various other muslims across the world, all in the name of God. So when I heard the news of his death, I could not help but be thankful. In a world with some many wounds, perhaps this man's demise might mean a few less. But in the midst of witnessing countless celebrations and online responses such as 'burn in hell Osama" I felt that same sense of justice flare up. 

I cannot escape the teachings of Jesus in his sermon on the mount, that our love MUST extend to even our enemies, the very ones who wish us dead. Some may consider this as idealism, but in a sense all of Jesus' teachings are idealistic but also deeply rooted in life and in truth. These are not just provocative words but the essence of how Jesus lived his own life. In the face of occupying non-believers who unfairly taxed, enslaved, and even killed his people, Jesus came not as the liberating king the Jews desired him to be. Instead he laid down his power and took all the world's punishment to the point of death and beyond, all the while praying for the ones mocking him. And the funny thing is that it worked, he not only liberated his people but all of us. In his act of nonviolence, of submitting to death, he won us all life. This act which to all, even his closet friends, seemed ludicrous has endured two thousand years and changed the lives of all humanity. Throughout this history others have taken to heart what Jesus said and did, people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi. Both tasted the same martyr death and both also tasted the fruits of their love: reconciliation and freedom. 

Some would say that we cannot be doormats or pushovers and this is true. All of these men, especially Jesus, were strong men who made strong stand and in the doing they overcame evil with good. Someone has to break the cycle of violence; the idea that killing bin Laden and making him a martyr for his radical followers is going to save lives is hard to prove at best and completely erroneous at worst. The response will be vengeance and we will seek to retaliate and the cycle of violence will progress. We only have to look at the middle east to learn the lesson of this deadly cycle, there is only "peace" when one side is stronger than the other, able to keep uprisings at bay. Hatred permeates the religious and ethnic struggles. All sides feel their cause just and even of God and that certitude leads further and further from any form of reconciliation or peace. Someone has to say, "enough already" and begin to love their neighbor even if costs them their own life, only then can the cycle be broken, only in sacrifice can we buy our freedom.

Jesus was that someone and he has dared to ask us to join him in the loving and leave the judging and vengeance to the only one capable of doing so. And maybe just maybe, in the process we might just change the world. 

I wonder what you think. Am I being naive? Does my faith blind me or enlighten my perspective on this? What about your faith? How has this incident effected your sense of compassion and/or justice?  

That We Might Be One

My friend, pastor, and mentor Eugene Scott recently wrote a blog about the power of intimacy and the danger of isolation (you can read it here). In his work Eugene describes the desperate need we have for each other. I feel this most acutely now that a women who I have cherished my entire life struggles to relearn how to eat a cookie. My aunt Betty suffered a stroke recently and the consequences of that stroke have been difficult to learn of. While I am hundreds of miles from Betty, the strength of her love for me kept her presence close in some mysterious way. But now, I do not doubt her love, but she seems oddly distant. Even though we pray for her to recover and believe she is just stubborn enough to do so, there is pain in the separation from the strong woman we all once knew. When I heard the news of her struggles my response was anger, not sadness. I believed deep within that it was simply not fair for this woman to suffer but also because deep down I feared I might never see her again. She is doing better and I hope to see her soon, and that hope of connection is stronger than all my fears and anger.

As I said before we each of us have not just a desire for connection but a hunger and a thirst. Intimacy with our fellow man is not just pleasant, it is vital. Without each other, though our hearts may still beat, our souls no longer live. Jesus knew this well. Before his death he prays a long prayer in John 17 that repeats the same petition over and over: that we may be one. This oneness is core to his hope in us, to his death with us, and to his resurrection for us. While we often focus on the aspects of forgiveness and new life in Jesus' gospel, we must see that we are forgiven so we may be reconciled to God and each other and that reconciled life is indeed our new life. Jesus also showed that pure unity was central to his gospel message when he summed the entire law of holiness up into two relational commands, that righteousness is found in right relationship with God and with each other, nothing more and certainly nothing less.

Our relationships suffer most severely the consequences of death that our sin produces. In the first instance of disobedience, man runs and hides from the God he walked with everyday and covers himself up from his wife in shame. Our relationships were what defined us in the creation account, God in all his triune glory decides to make us in "our image," the shared image of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in perfect unity with each other. And it is that perfect unity that Jesus uses in his prayer as the model for our oneness, "may they be one as we are one." The day is coming when the groom Jesus will be united with his bridegroom the church and what a celebration of union that day will be. But in the mean time, we struggle to hold on to the beautiful relationships we currently inhabit and fight to repair the broken ones. This is hard work. Never will we open ourselves to more hurt than when we make ourselves vulnerable in relationships, than when we lay aside our fig leaves of shame and dare to live life together, in pure oneness.

All this points to why it hurts so much to hear that a loved one is in pain, because if we truly love that person then their pain becomes our own,that is both the blessing and perhaps the curse of our oneness. The reality is that we are all meant to be each other's loved ones and every instance of isolation, death, and disconnect hurts us to our core even if we do not realize it. But gloriously Jesus became our loved one and on that fateful day he felt our suffering in its fullest and it killed him. But in that act he showed love was stronger than death, that relationships would always win over separation in the end and he burst forth from the divide of death to reconnect all of creation to itself and to himself. Just as he felt our suffering on the cross, we feel his joy in the resurrection. May we find our stories at the intersection of the cross, at the place of Jesus prayer for our oneness, and the birth of our reconciled lives walking anew without shame in the presence of the one we have only dreamed of until now. And that hope of connection is stronger than all our fears and anger.

 May we be one.

A Spring of Hope

There are several reasons why I cherish Easter, some theological, some nostalgic but right now I am meditating on the seasonal change that accompanies the holiday. The pastels we drape on us for that eventful morning echo the awakening color blossoming from the earth outside the church walls. Spring is a season of fulfilled promise. After months of often bitter cold and death, we yearn and hope for Easter, for flowers and green and life. Michala has brought this sense of life into our home by the addition of seeds planted on our window sill. Every day we rush to see what has occurred in the dead of night, desperate for a sprig of hope. And miracles of miracles, life emerges.

Is it any wonder that the season of new life we call Spring coincides with the celebration of new life we call Easter? Jesus tells a story of how unless a wheat seed is broken and dies it will not grow to bear fruit, to bear bread, the bread of life. He is that broken seed, crushed underfoot. And yet the reason we will congregate at all this weekend is that the seed does not remain dead. Just as the basil is sprouting from the soil on my window sill, the crushed wheat yields life and abundant life at that.

I've only been observing this phenomenon we call Spring for 27 years but for some reason, each time it roles around, I am always surprised that it all somehow worked again. I marvel that land so barren and cold could possibly produce such abundance again; but it does, every year. In this faithful rebirth I witness the seeds of hope. My soul is often found wandering in a Winter wasteland, barren and even dead. And as I peer within, I wonder if there is any reason to believe that perhaps once more, New Life will bloom. I desperately await the Sprig of Hope. And miracle of miracles, Easter comes and death is laid in the grave. Miracle of miracles Jesus emerges risen and triumphant. Miracle of miracles, Spring dawns full of color and promise. Miracle of miracles, this very soul of mine find more than courage, more than hope, more than my wildest dreams and miracle of miracles I rise.

He is risen, I am risen, we are all risen indeed!

Providence in Pavlov's

Broken glass, spilt beer, and cigarette butts
fill the field of my vision.
My gaze is upon 
the tread-upon.

Some may have a lofty eye
yet mine sighs a lonely "why?"

Peering down on the scarred tile
undeserving of even that home.

Lost, dead, blind, alone
these adjectives are mine, I own.
Inadequete, devoid, these words lack the fill,
they lack the fullness of my emptiness, my seal.

How did I ever get so far?
How did I find my home in Pavlovs Bar?

Everywhere I look I see illusion,

my heart overcome with confusion.
Is today tommarow?

Yesteryear now?
Is up down?

Horse cow?

I feel like truth was once a friend of mine.
In the playground of my youth, it's beauty I'd find.
Innocent and alive, no sense of worry,
caught up in an my own life story.

Then...
Providence arrives.
And by Grace alone, 
my soul survives.

Sent as an angel with beer in tow,
came and gave ear to my groans of woe.
This word and that word, it really didn't matter,
just a taste of concern, even a smatter.

Okay truth, 
here I come.
See ya lies,
I'm done.
Maybe truth is in this bar,
maybe truth is in a home afar.

I partake on my Exodus, seemingly aware that I'm alone,
Yet my flight is guided by the Chief Cornerstone.
Unknowing of my Divine Guide,
until later when I have died.

Amazing Grace how sweet the sound,
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
Melodious, haunting, and yet inviting I find the hymn,
the words come alive as does my heart so dim.

Then my past I must face.
And I feel unworthy of even dirty grace.

Broken

Awoken!

Tear upon tear, wash away each fear,
Grace upon Grace, gives my soul a face.

Words fail me
My God avails me...

God, The Beloved Enemy

"Power, success, happiness, as the world knows them, are his who will fight for them hard enough; but peace, love, joy are only from God. And God is the enemy whom Jacob fought there by the river, of course, and whom in one way or another we all of us fight - God, the beloved enemy.  Our enemy becauase, before giving us everything, he demands of us everything; before giving us life, he demands our lives - our selves, our wills, our treasure." -Frederick Buechner

Tonight, on the eve of my 27th birthday, as I dream and worry about the next year of my life, I am faced with the reality of my motives. So often, I disguise my cravings for safety with holy masks that resemble wisdom.  But if I am honest, if I take my mask off, I am rather afraid of tomorrow.  This tormentor of mine, fear, has been wrecking havoc in my soul for far too long. The odd thing is that I am far from being certain just what it is that I fear. Is it failure? Rejection? Pain? Death? Of course it is these things, but it is also something else, something that I cannot name no matter who hard I psychoanalyze myself.

FDR said that the only thing worth fearing is fear itself and he may be quite right.  He said this in the face of the Great Depression, not just an economic disaster, but also a crushing of the nation's collective will.  Roosevelt stood firm in his bootstrap-pulling mentality and demanded that his country not bow to this cowardly enemy called fear. Yet I am afraid that I cannot live up to his level of courage.

The reason FDR cautioned us against giving into the demands of our terrors is that fear is a crippling foe.  It stakes claim over one's decisions and taunts us in the midst of our conflicts.  Fear calls to us to consider what we will lose if we truly turned our back on him.  Fear reminds us that he keeps us safe and illuminates the dangers in our paths. But too many of us know that a path lit by fear is a highway to hell. We put on our blinders and fall in line with the other cattle being led to slaughter. But every so often one of us wakes up and shouts at the top of there lungs, "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light."  A clarion call no doubt, a prayer too. Because what do we really have to lose?

Jesus once said that in order to find our life we must first lose it.  In other words, the things we fear the most will be the death of all our fears. Yet Jesus said the goal was death, nothing less, yet in that dying we find life. This is heady stuff. But it is also powerful stuff, words of life even.  And the beautiful thing about these words was that Jesus not only spoke them but He lived them. This is a rare combination today, when what we say actually lines up with what we do, but Jesus was the rare type. He not only took on death itself but all of our fears, failures, insecurities, and mistakes, even our blatant sins and he let them do their worse.  And the funny thing is that he was right all along, he defeated our fears for us, he died for us, for me even.  And it is this rare feat that gives me courage.

The United States rebounded from the Great Depression and emerged not just better, but as the most powerful nation in the world. The people rallied around their leader who had the courage to spit in fear's face and to convince the nation to follow his lead. They pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and exceeded their wildest goals. But in our quest to defeat fear, we must first be defeated. We, like the starving masses of the 30's, have right to fear. But we also have a courageous leader who has not only named the enemy but defeated it and has the scars to prove it. His victory did not come through will-power or hard work but through submission, through a God-forsaken cross. And our own way through is through defeat.  But we do not stay down. He did not stay down but got back up again and as the scarred man stumbled forth, he staked his claim over all the lands ruled by death and fear for He now holds the keys. The grave was overcome and we can finally believe Him when He says, "do not be afraid..."

God of Jacob, just as you wrestled Jacob and defeated him, defeat us too. It is not in courage that I overcome fears but in death. So take my life, but I will not let yo go til you bless me, change me, give me a new name and a new life. I have no clue how this happens but let it be. Defeat me Lord so that I may be victorious. Amen

Death Come No More

"Where is it I've read that someone condemned to death says or thinks, an hour before his death, that if he had to live on some high rock, on such a narrow ledge that he'd only room to stand, and the ocean, everlasting darkness, everlasting solitude, everlasting tempest around him, if he had to remain standing on a square yard of space all his life, a thousand years, eternity, it were better to live so than to die at once! Only to live, to live and live! Life, whatever it may be!... How true it is! Good God, how true! Man is a vile creature!"  Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

"Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die." -Loretta Lynn 

From an early age I have had a severe fear of death.  I would lay in my bed at night and imagine my dying day, lain in a coffin and then utter darkness, forever.  A great panic would grip me; I would run to my mom and have her comfort me until the panic seeped away. As I grew older, I learned not to peer into that dark day, but to live in a way that boasted of immortality.  Yet despite this chasing of the wind, death has not failed to whisper in my ear its reign over me and everyone I love. There finally came a time in my life that I suspect many of us will experience, where I had to face my fate, to stop running from it and accept the reality that death will have its day.  In some ways this was both freeing and utterly depressing.  Freeing because fear was no longer my master, and depressing because deep within me, within us all, is a furious resistance that wants to live and will never accept death.

Often we try to sugarcoat this thing called death, especially when loved ones pass away.  We say things like, "I'm so glad so and so died, they are in a better place now."  And while there is some truth in this, it is very different from how Jesus responded to the death of a loved one; He had no words only tears, bitter weeping.  I find this odd because a few moments later Jesus would call his friend back to life.  How could our King, knowing what was coming next, cry so terribly at such a moment?  I have come to believe that Jesus was making a declaration of sorts in those tears, that death is not okay. We were never meant to die; life, full-on living is our destiny.  The early church father St. Irenaeus said that "the glory of God is man fully alive."  And for Jesus, for whom the glory of the Father was his deepest longing, death's lingering reign brought mourning and tears.  But that was not all it brought.

Jesus, defying death with his tears exerts his power over death and reclaims Lazarus from the grave.  While we mourn death's stain, we also rejoice in its defeat.  Jesus would soon face our greatest enemy head on and like us all, He embraced its reality and drank from that bitter cup and with his last breath he cried out. Death, once again, brought tears.  But it would never again have the last laugh for after the mourning came a new morning and a new King.  Death's dynasty was laid to rest and the once dead man, Jesus, bust forth a new day and a new hope, a new life.

O death where is your sting? It is buried in the grave!