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All of Your Chains

As we turned East into a little box canyon nestled among the San Juan Mountains in Southwest Colorado, we found ourselves transported and perhaps transformed. The glowing groves of aspen trees lined the snow-capped peaks around us with an overwelmingly green bed skirt and drew us into the town of Telluride a bastion of beauty seemingly in the middle of nowhere. Our favortite phase soon became, "look!" We were like three year olds going to the zoo for the first time, bewildered by the scenery. There are a few times in life when you forget about all the pain and suffering that dominate not only our lives but all of creation itself, when you see or experience something so beautiful that it hides all the ugly. Jesus spoke about such things as the light and that the light shines in the darkenss and the darkness is compeltely overwhelmed by the light. This weekend I saw glimpses of that light and for a few moments the darkenss trembled and ran.

I don't want to over sentimentalize my experience, but my life like so many others I know has been filled with little but darkness and even the beautiful things around me have been hard to see. I have begun to doubt that the light will actually overcome and yet it often finds me in the strangest places. When my faith is dragging God has a way of showing up at just the right time although He often seems late or out of place. So in a sea of hippies, missing a shoe, listening to something akin to bluegrass music, I found God again and it was beautiful.

This trip was just a chance to get away and have some fun but I found my expectations lacking. Absent were my girls, my wife and daughter, and consequently my sanity. I struggled to survive camping on a baseball field in the town of Telluride. I found myself during some of the rippingest music I've ever encountered wishing they were there with me. I battled inwardly about whether I deserved to celebrate life when so many in the world were deprived of the very basics of life. But the reality is that life will not die, the light will overcome and when it breaks through we must dance.

In a weekend full of highlights and special moments, one stands out clearest. at a side stage in the midst of what amounts to a yard off of main street Telluride we saw one of my favorite acts, Abigail Washburn, perform an impromptu acoustic set five feet from me. As I sat on the grass and soaked up the surreal moment, tears welled up in my eyes as Abigail sang "Chains." As the wind gushed through the park the band delivered a cry for freedom, a cry that my heart longed to utter. Devoid of amplification, stripped to their rawest, I saw my soul reflected in the honesty of that moment. Life was passing me by. I was chained to darkness by my fears and for a split second the light of hope burst the chains off me and my soul lept to its feet to dance.

I could hardly wait to return home, both literally and figuratively, to start living life instead of merely watching it pass by.  Below is a video of the actual performance detailed here captured by the guy sitting beside me, a stranger, but forever a friend for grasping this spark of light.



I pray for the light to shine, for beauty to grasp us and free us. I pray that we breathe in deeply the aroma of life and give ear to the melody of God. I pray we dance.

Hello 2011

It is that time of the year again, time to resolutely declare change in our lives: New Year's resolutions.  I was going to say that I am not one who partakes in such cliche holiday rituals, but I confess that every year, even if only internally, I dream of doing all the things that I have put off the previous years: get in shape, learn Spanish, read a hundred books, write a book, etc.  I am fascinated with change because I'm not happy with who I am.  This is not a bad fascination but I wish it would move beyond just desire and become a reality.  Just like the multitude who make resolutions, I also fail to see them through.  This bears evidence that change, real change, is rather difficult.  Yet something deep within begs us to push towards a better us.  I think this longing is God-ordained, a desire to return to a full God-image bearing state, a return to paradise. This year I am not going at this sheepishly but full-heartedly and, I hope, not alone.

There is this book called The War of Art that names the enemy of our creative process as resistance.  The author, Steven Pressfield, says that when we feel the greatest resistance to a goal, we should view this goal as the greatest thing we can do.  The greater the difficulty, the greater the reward.  Out of our struggles and sometimes even defeats, we find strength and hopefully victory. 

This blog has been such a blessing for me, fostering a love for writing, but it also serves as an area of severe resistence.  I must write, and I hope that maybe I may write something beautiful and meaningful.  You too must (and I believe will) do something great.  Find your desire and name the enemy of resistance.  My resolution is to commit to this blog, to this strange act of communication, and to you my reader.  This year I will write three blogs every week.  They will range in length, subject-matter, and depth.  I am very excited and also very scared to make this resolution public, because now I am accountable.  Will you join me and make an audacious goal for 2011; make it public and pray for strength and perseverance? 

I sure hope so.