Put the Lights on the Tree

We are a little over a week into our Advent conspiracy to give away something everyday of Advent. So far it has been...uneventful. We've been somewhat faithful to our pledge, selecting something each day but waiting to give a lot of it all at once. So we haven't actually given anything away, yet.

The sad thing is that we're starting to realize that 30 or so days are not enough. We can easily see reaching Christmas day and not having felt a bit of discomfort in our giving, not a bit of sacrifice. We simply have too much stuff.

We've begun to dare to dream of if we could do this for an entire year, til next Advent. Perhaps then we might actually begin to feel the pain and release of simplifying.

Regardless, Christmas is so much more fun with a two-year-old. Mary Grace is determined to see every Christmas decoration in the Rockies. Tonight as we listened to Sufjan Stevens' and put lights on our tree, she exclaimed with sheer joy, "Its Christmas!" Despite our seeming inability to make room, her hospitable heart is making up for it when she she says "Happy birthday, Jesus!"

It's Christmas Time Again!

This should be the most wonderful time of the year. I look out my window and see houses adorned with lights, Bing Crosby is singing Joy to the World, and the air is getting crisp even for Colorado. But I find myself more like Charlie Brown wondering what Christmas is really all about, wondering why I'm not happy at the happiest time of the year.

Yesterday was the first Sunday of Advent, a time of celebration for Jesus' birth into our world and a time of expectation of his triumphal return. I've come to relish the duel nature of the season; for so long Christmas was simply about me. Then I discovered that it was about Jesus, that he came to us in our darkest hour and filled our greatest need. But I sometimes wonder if that need is really being met; in the midst of decking the halls, I wonder how we'll pay rent on them.

So much of this season is still focused on us, our greed, over-consumption, feelings of inadequacy, and I wonder if Jesus' birth really accomplished all that much. And yet, I look within my own heart, an I know he is birthed there. The bonds of slavery to self-worship and self-hate have been broken and a promise has taken root.

Its this promise that holds my heart captive. A promise to be fulfilled in God's rebirth, His second coming into this world to give the final gift and perhaps the first gift as well. In this current season we find ourselves in the tension of the two Advents. We are children of the not-yet-but-soon-to-be-fully-realized promise. So we wait.

But we do not wait passively. The realization of that inaugural promise is to be achieved in some wondrous way, through us, the children of promise. We are and are becoming the instruments of the change all of our hearts are waiting for. We pray, we turn the other cheek, we go the extra mile, we love our enemies, we give our last mites, we "birth" Jesus into our neighborhood manger.

This season of Advent, I believe God is calling us to another act of Christ-imitation: Simplicity.

In a season when people pepper-spray each other to get the best deal on presents, could we 'birth' Christ into our mess by refusing to be carried away in the 'getting' season.

Our family has begun to wonder if there is enough room in the 'inn' of our home for this birth. After a few years of marriage we have accumulated simply too much stuff. So we're going to give it away.

Each day this Advent we are giving away one thing, not trash, but meaningful items. We're not sure what this looks like or how hard/easy it will be, but we feel compelled to make room. Each week I'll write about our adventure in giving. Please join us as we seek more through less.

Come Lord Jesus.

Think About Such Things

All this week I am taking a moment to dwell upon the good of 2010. On Christmas night I looked back a few books that impacted me and tonight I want to examine another art form that is rather inspiring, music. Here are a handful of albums, artists and songs that made an impact on me in 2010.

All Day by Girl Talk
More than anything this album reminded how much fun it is to dance. Cliff and I listened to the whole album on a trip back from Colorado Springs and I lost my mind about Monument and never got it back. Speaking of Cliff...

Clifford Hutchison
My dear friend has always spoken to my heart through his music but his latest writing and live performances in my living room have been like medicine for my soul. He is a joyful sound.

"O Come, O Come Emmanuel" by Sufjan Stevens
Stevens' entire Christmas album was a wonderful soundtrack to this Advent season, but his reworking of this classic hymn most resonated with my longing to rejoice at Emmanuel's coming.

Abigail Washburn and the Sparrow Quartet
I feel inept trying to capture what it is about these songs that open up my spirit and make it howl. Words just seem so inadequate when trying to describe a melody. Do yourself a favor and simply listen.

JJ Heller
A wonderful artist that has ministered to my whole family through both haunting and hopeful lyrics. Michala still sings "Keep You Safe" to Mary Grace when shes having a tough night, I think it means more to me than anyone. (The whole album is great but skip ahead to track 10 for Keep You Safe).

A New Memory

Here we are again in the season of  Advent.  A time of waiting and hoping and celebrating and even a bit of mourning. With each season we remember the past, the times spent with family no longer with us, of dishes that no one will ever make like she did, of better times even.  In this remembering we mourn what we have lost and we hope, not in some assured, grin-soaked way, but in a maybe, a wish-upon-a-star way, that we just might create memories that will be worth missing one day.  This Thanksgiving, I missed my mom, I missed my brother, I missed grandma and her stuffing (its good enough to make a man cry), but we forged ahead as a new family, not-so-familiar faces crowded around a not-so-familiar table hoping that we were creating a new memory. 

In many ways the season of Advent is like this.  We remember the stories of our youth about wise men, a horrible king, angels, stars, a manger; and if you are like me, you mourn.  These things fail to ignite my imagination the way they once did, I guess thats the trouble with growing up.  But I see in my daughter a bit of hope.  She is not quite old enough to understand the stories, but I have never seen a face so joyous as when she sees a horse or a star or Christmas lights.  Her's is a scary face in that it is completely unfiltered by the years that have jaded us.  It is a scary face because I want to experience that joy too and fear I never will.  But I hope.  I cannot give up, I must hope to make new memories for her and hopefully myself as well.  And here is what makes Advent so special for me, we do not simply remember and mourn, but we also hope.  We hope when all the world around us tells us not to.  We hope even in the face of suffering.  It is a foolish thing to do, and yet we become fools because what choice do we really have.  Jesus is coming again and He has made us some promises, that He will give us His joy and nothing will ever take it from us again.  He is creating new memories for us, greater memories that will shine so bright that the mourning will never come again.  

It may seem foolish to hope for such things, but maybe, just maybe, God will fix this world and nothing will ever be the same again.  I sure hope so.

Hopeful Remembrance

"I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago." Psalm 77:11



Now that the New Year is upon us, our minds often drift in opposite directions, both backwards as we reflect upon the past year and forward as we anticipate what 2010 may have in store. It is a time to remember and a time to hope. Yet for some it has become a time to regret and a time to fear. Instead of relishing the highlights of the past 365 days, some often dwell on the mistakes and remember the things we wish we would forget. With the burdens of 2009 in tow, we wonder why 2010 would be any different. As each year passes, we have become jaded; forget half-full, the glass is empty. If we view our lives as a story, they have turned from comedy to tragedy. What ever happened to the happily ever after? As we look to 2010, we wonder if it might be just a little better, a little brighter. Yet for some, they see no reason to hope and that is because they have forgotten how to remember.


Now I'm not saying we forget the bad, because that too is important. We are not to pretend the glass is full when it is most certainly not. What I am saying, is that we remember the whole story, not just incidents. This takes time, humility, and honesty. Time and again the scriptures, even God Himself, beckons us to remember. This may seem like an odd command in our results-driven culture. "Why waste time in contemplation while my to-do list only gets longer?" I do not pretend to know the depth of God's intentions, but I do believe He has given us a reason to look back: so that we can look forward.


I, like I imagine so many of you, have experienced both bad and good times in 2009. This was an exceptionally difficult and full filling year for me. I preached a funeral on my twenty-fifth birthday, I moved fourteen hours away from my home, family, friends, and church, and my wife lost two grandparents. It was a hard year. But many wonderful things happened as well. I graduated college (finally) with honors, I was able to find a great job within days of moving to Colorado, I have become closer with Michala's family, I have found a wonderful community of faith in Adullam, and best of all I witnessed the birth of my daughter. Truly, the Lord gives and He takes away. Yet to truly understand 2009, I need to remember 1984-2008. 2009 only makes sense when I realize it is simply one chapter in a rather long book.


Some of you are aware of my story and others less so. But my story is yours. I made a lot mistakes, hurt a lot of people. Drugs and alcohol became my gods among many other vices. I often found myself in a lie, a daze, depression, and even jail. At age 21, I had no reason to hope for a better future, I was utterly and hopelessly lost. Yet unexplainably, God remembered me. He looked beyond my past and saw Calvary. He saw more than my sin and He gave me a future and a hope. In the blink of an eye my life changed dramatically. As the old hymn goes, "I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see." People who know me now, are astonished at my past and those who knew me then are equally astonished. God is indeed a redemptive God. My life is simply one of countless testimonies of this redemption.


In the four years since that redemption, God has proven not to be done with me yet. I'm sober, graduated, married, employed, and hopeful. Life is indeed good. But sometimes, life seems even harder on this side. With these gifts comes responsibilities. And my great fear is that I will fail, that that selfish drunkard will take back over. I fear that my baby will not know a godly daddy. That my wife will wonder what she ever saw in me and worst of all, that God too would wish to forget me. It is when this fear takes hold that I most need to remember.


God pleads for the Israelites to remember His deeds. That they were slaves and He freed them. That they were lost in the wilderness and He brought them home. That they were hungry and He fed them. And their story is our story. Remember what the Lord has done. You were drunk and he brought sobriety. You were lonely and brought community. You were lost and He found you. We remember these things because they are proof that God will always see us through. Even if we are in the midst of turmoil and see no way out, we must remember that it is not the end of the story. God remembers us and because of this remembrance we can hope. So that when life seems hopeless, we know better.


"We have survived you and I. Maybe that is at the heart of our remembering. After twenty years, forty years, sixty years or eighty, we have made it to this year, this day. We needn't have made it. There were times we never thought we would and nearly didn't. There were times we almost hoped we wouldn't, were ready to give the whole thing up....Faint of heart as we are, a love beyond our power to love has kept our hearts alive." -Frederick Buechner


We can look forward in 2010, because we have looked back and remembered what the Lord has done. Hope and remembrance are interwoven, working together. This is the beauty of the recent Advent season, we remember the Lord's coming at Christmas and hope for His final coming. So, may you take the time to look back on your story and remember both the good and bad so that we may dream all the more fully about the happily ever after.

Advent Reflections - Part 3

Each week of the Advent season a different aspect of our anticipation of the coming Lord is emphasized. This week's focus is upon Joy. While many of us would be quick to list joy as a major Christian attribute, less of us understand it or even worse have ever truly experienced it. For some of us, we even wonder if there is anything to be joyous about at all. So what is this whole joy thing about anyway?

When I think of how joy and waiting mingle, especially during this season, I think of Christmas Eve when I was a little kid. I could NEVER go to sleep. As hard as I tried, sleep seemed to always allude me those nights, but it really didn't matter; I was just so anxious about what the dawn (and Santa) would bring. While presents were high on my list, the whole experience excited me. The glow of the tree in the low light of early morning, everyone in their underwear and jammies, hair all a mess, a delicious breakfast of biscuits and gravy made by my favorite chef (mom!), the huge pile of waste accumulated by the end of the unwrapping session, rummaging through what seemed like a bottomless stocking, seeing the rest of my family open the gifts I had picked out, and the afternoon trip to Grandma's for even more fun. It was the highlight of my year and sleep simply could not compare. I knew that just around the corner was a day unlike any other, a day of peace, excitement, and joy.

Yet, I grew up. I have lost much of that sense of wonder from my youth. I now know better about jolly old Saint Nick and mom is a thousand miles away. I will probably sleep quite soundly on December 24th. Often my only real hope for the holiday season is that I might actually enjoy it. Is this what we call maturity? Dear Lord, I hope not. I believe we could all learn quite a bit from our younger selves. They would tell us to play some more, to imagine, and to laugh. They would tell us to let go of our pride and shame and run into our daddy's arms when things hurt. Oh to have the faith of a child, Lord have mercy on me.

We need these lessons from of former selves because our present selves have incurred the burden of what we call "the real world." There are bills to pay, things to clean, papers to be written, calls to make, and we alone are responsible. We have awoken to the reality that life is hard. And in this midst of what used to a joyous season, we've heaped more burdens upon our shoulders: debt, stress, plans, worries, and strife. We fill the mall parking lots hoping to fill our hearts, only to find we've been lied to. We strive and strive looking for "something," waiting for "someday" that will set us free, that will awaken that sleepless child from Christmas eve. Yet the more stuff we amass and the more things we do, we still can not find it. A wise man once said "I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun."

Where are the glad tidings of joy? What will set us free from this body of decay? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!

A new favorite song of mine is called "Embracing Accusations" by Shane and Shane (take a few minutes to listen to it then come back; just click the play button at the top of the right column). In this song, the singer is being attacked by the accusations of the devil : that we are cursed and that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves. The singer then realizes that "the father of lies is telling the truth, that he is singing the song of the redeemed" We are indeed cursed and nothing can save us form this body of death. Yet the singer reminds us that the devil is so eloquent at singing the first verse of the song, but he has forgotten the refrain: Jesus Saves!

I, like my younger self am often in sleepless state but for altogether different reasons. I find rest hard to come by in a world like the one I know. So I wait. Not idly, but actively. I hope, not fleetingly but confidently. Just as Jesus came at just the right time, He shall come again. Lord knows that there is a day, right around the corner, that will change everything, a day of peace, a day of excitement, a day of Joy indeed! The following Scripture from Romans 8 fully embodies this Advent idea of joy in waiting.

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him.

That's why I don't think there's any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens." (Romans 8:15-21 MSG)

The Apostle Paul knew what was right around the corner and he knew that in the waiting was joy. That deep down inside each of us (and even all of creation) there is an intense longing for "someday." In Christ, we can know that that "someday" is coming, that He is coming. And we can join all creation in singing the joyous victory song, "Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last!"

Advent Reflections-part 2

Through this Advent season I have experienced renewed wonder in my Lord, increased anticipation for His Kingdom, and a resolve to be about His mission. While my soul has been nurtured this season, I have also been deeply troubled. As I write this, temperatures in the Denver Metro area are dipping below zero and numerous sons and daughters of God have nowhere to lay there heads, much like their Savior who was regulated to a feeding trough for His 'grand' arrival. These people need desperately to feel the warmth of a bed, the hand of a friend, and the embrace of their Father. As compassion stirs my heart and I am reminded of THE greatest commandment "love your neighbor as yourself," I am convinced that there must be something I can do. But reason rebuts my heart and asks "what can I really do? I hardly make enough to live as it is, my wife and I share a pair of gloves, and Lord knows I'm just one person, in the face of hundreds. The challenge is just so overwhelming. " Aw, but as Pascal said, "the heart has its reasons of which reason knows not."

But there is a problem: I am selfish. I like having a computer, new books, and other luxuries that I've convinced myself are necessities. And I know better, but I keep doing what I hate and not doing what I desire. I feel the depth of Paul's exclamation in Romans 7, "Oh, wretched man that I am!"

I'm haunted by a scene near the end of Schindler's List, the story of Oskar Schindler, a man who saved the lives of over 1,100 Polish Jews by employing them in his factory during the Holocaust. After the war ends, Schindler looks at his lapel pin and realizes that it could have afforded him one more life. He is grief stricken at his selfishness dropping to his knees, weeping, muttering 'one more, one more..." This from the very man who literally risked his life for years in the effort to protect his fellow man. Could I ever be that compassionate, that sacrificial, that humble? Could I look into the least of these my brothers and sisters and see the face of Christ? Lord, I hope so; have mercy on me!

Yet, Paul reminds us that our wretchedness is not the end of the story. We must press on in the grace of our Savior, knowing He is guiding and if that be so we may rejoice indeed! So, with grace in hand and Christ in the lead how do we address the objections of our reason, the questioning of whether or not we can truly make a difference?

Henri Nouwen has said, "Though we want to make all our time, time for God, we will never succeed if we do not reserve a minute, an hour, a morning, a day, a week, a month, or whatever period of time for God and Him alone." I believe this applies to our resources as well. So may we start down the path of truly loving our neighbor one step at a time.

So what is that first step this Advent? For many of us it may be a long-overdue prayer to the lover of our souls. But as we move out from that, there are beautifully tangible ways to manifest the Kingdom; to be about Christ's business of lifting the oppressed, feeding the needy, and freeing the captive. Sites like adventconspiracy have great suggestions. A wonderful ministry helping those here in downtown Denver is the denver rescue mission. But my favorite Advent charitys are ones like worldvision and heifer international where you can buy goats or pigs or chickens helping families in need around the world become self-sustainable. I have been deeply moved by the following testimony of young Beatrice Biira from Uganda

"It was a Sunday when my mother told me we were going to get a goat which
would give us milk. We were already prepared for the goat. We
planted grass and built its house. We stood near the road singing, dancing
and clapping waiting for the goats. We saw a big lorry coming full of fat,
healthy, good looking goats. Then my mother was given one brown goat and we
took it home. We named her 'Mugisa' (means luck). We gave her grass
and clean water and mineral salt."

"About two months later our goat gave birth to two male kids. My
mother milked Mugisa and got four liters of milk a day. Time passed, our
kids grew, and mummy sold them and got a lot of money - $200! We had never
received so much money. We built a very good house roofed with iron
sheets. Before that we used to lie in a grass thatched house. There
was also money to send me to school.'

"I was happy to go to school. Mummy bought for me a new blue pinafore
and a yellow blouse as my uniform. She also bought books and
pencils. I polished my shoes and I cut my fingernails short. I was
so very happy that night. I was in my bed wide awake peeping through the
ventilators, waiting for morning to come. I was first to wake up. I bathed, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and put on my uniform. I took a cup of tea with milk from Mugisa."

"It was the best day in my life!"

"I wish to send a special thanks to you all, the donors who send farm animals
around the world to help needy and hungry ones - especially children like
me. This project has surely helped me and my family. Thank you very
much for this work you are doing. Finally, I wish you all God's blessings
to help more children in need."

Truly it is more blessed to give than to receive. May this Christmas truly embody these words of our Savior.

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Please Check out this site and do some holiday shopping there.

Come Lord Jesus (or How the Nativity Foreshadows the Eschatological Throne Scene)

I have been thinking a lot about Advent lately. Coming from zero church background until I was 21 and then being limited to Southern Baptist life, the season of Advent is in many ways a new discovery for me. If you are in the same boat, a brief background concerning Advent may be in order. Advent is Latin for "coming" and is a season of anticipation that both reflects the waiting of the Jews (and all creation) for the Messiah and looks ahead to the second coming (Advent) of Christ. This is observed through various liturgical methods such as the lighting of candles.

My family has decided to observe Advent this year, in hopes of creating godly traditions for ourselves and Mary Grace. While we will be lighting candles, we also did not want to be merely ritualistic in our practice. So, I have been meditating on what it means to long for the return of Christ and to reflect on the importance of his Incarnation.

Initially I have been convicted by passages that speak of Israel's rejection of Christ when He came. John 1:11 says "...his own people did not accept him." When the Magi seek out Jesus by inquiring of Herod about the location of the "King of the Jews," Matthew 2:3 says that Herod "...was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him." The very people who were so desperate for a Messiah, a deliverer, simply did not want Him when He came. I'm not sure why, perhaps is was how He came or how He would die. He was not what they expected in any way, so they rejected Him in every way.

I say these passages have convicted me, because I do not always long for Christ's return. Like most young men, I have my whole life ahead of me; I want to climb mountains, travel, write books, attend my daughters initiation as a nun (or her wedding), bascially, I want to live life. I'm just not ready for Heaven, at least not yet. But perhaps the abundance of my American living has blinded me to the cruelty of this age. Perhaps I need to open the paper and read about mothers selling their 5 year-old daughters to be sex slaves only to have them raped and murdered. I need to remember my friends who have suffered from crippling diseases. I need to remember that this world needed redemption. It needs a Savior to come and set things right. A Messiah to free the captives, heal the sick, and lift up the oppressed. We need our Lord Jesus to come. And yet, I wonder if those who say they are waiting will like what they see when He does in fact return. Will we want the evil in us removed? Will we like that not only the 5 year-old girl is set free but just maybe her murderer will be too? Will we still accept our Savior if He doesn't meet our expectations? Will we be like Jerusalem?

Yet conviction is a lovely thing in that it leads to repentance and that leads to restoration. Today at Chapel, God began to reveal to me why deep down, I do eagerly await His arrival. Across the way from me was an older man, you know the type: members-only jacket, comb over, mustache, black socks and sandals; he had his eyes closed, hands extended, face turned upwards, swaying and singing his heart out to Jesus. Right beside him was the Seminary president, all prim in his perfect suit with his neatly trimmed beard. And with dignity he too sang the same words to the same God with the same devotion. I turned from this scene to observe to Nativity set up in front of the pulpit. In it I saw extreme opposites brought together for one thing, to worship Jesus: the stench of animal dung mingled with the sweet aroma of Frankincense and myrrh, dirt and gold, kings and shepherds, donkeys and angels, all gathered around the crying, helpless, supremely weak Creator of the Universe. Truly ALL creation was on hand to praise the humble king. I was instantly brought to the throne scene from Revelation, when every tribe, nation, and tongue is praising the lamb who was slain. As I wept, I joined the president, the old man, the angels, and the shepherds singing "Come Lord Jesus, Come!" Come Lord, indeed!

May this Advent season reignite our passions for our Lord. May it increase our resolve to be about His business while He is away: loving, witnessing, sharing, and sacrificing. May this Advent season leave us singing with all the convction in the world, "Come Lord Jesus, come!"